31 Days of Real Life [10/12/16]

I have a responsibility complex.

I have an internal pressure to be incredibly responsible at all times. Maybe it’s a first born thing or a personality thing. Either way, I’ve been learning that it’s not always healthy to make decisions based on the most responsible choice.

Typically, I post a new podcast episode every Thursday, which means I need to get it polished on Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. Some Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I’m exhausted or not able to think straight enough, and yet, I often put the pressure on myself to meet a deadline, no matter what. Deadlines are wonderful tools, but can suck the life out of you if you let yourself be a slave to them.

Being responsible all the time is exhausting. And, most of the time, the responsibilities I feel are to meet the needs and expectations of other people. I neglect to take responsibility for my own care becomes someone might be disappointed.

But, as with all addictions, my addiction to being “the responsible one” is not sustainable. I won’t love writing and encouraging forever if I burn out now.

So, today, I did a bit of work and then watched Notting Hill with the fake fire on and convince myself that being a moderately responsible person is a worthwhile goal.

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