Grief

31 Days of Real Life [10/31/16]

Halloween. An exciting day for the kids, but a hard day for me. Dad died four years ago. It’s hard to wrap my mind around that reality. I really struggled this year, missing him in so many ways. He would’ve been best buddies with Caleb and I don’t think he would’ve ever stopped laughing at…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/15/16]

This boy was my first little buddy. He came into the world during an incredibly difficult season. My dad was dying while I was in labor and eight hours after he entered my life, my dad left it. I didn’t grieve well. I thought I had it all under control, but really I was avoiding…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/13/16]

I realized that I still have the key to our house from Maryland on my keychain. It could’ve been a subconscious attempt to hold on to that life, but, honestly, I just hadn’t bothered and kept forgetting. It’s those little things that make grief hard. I look at that key and I remember figuring out…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/10/16]

She wandered around the house this morning with her brother’s duplos in her Cookie Monster pjs, with her crazy hair and drippy, runny nose. Keith got those pjs for Caleb for his second birthday. Keith wore Cookie Monster pjs around the hospital when Caleb was born and it became a tradition to wear their pjs together every…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/9/16]

Before I get serious, can we just talk about my love of LuLaRoe? I seriously wear at least one piece a day. I’ve always required my wardrobe to consist of clothes that are soft and comfortable but look nice and put together. LuLaRoe hits the nail on the head. So today I wore my LLR leggings…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/1/16]

My life is a bit like an IKEA end table. All in pieces. I can see all the pieces most days. I can envision what I want life to look like when it’s all put together. I have tools to assemble the new me; the more time I spend in counseling, quiet contemplation, and prayer,…

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For When The Grief Sneaks Up On You

Dear Broken Heart: Grief is so sneaky, isn’t it? Just when I think I’ve got it all figure out, it figures out a new way to catch me off guard. Or uses an old way that I thought wasn’t effective any more. Last week, Caleb started three day preschool. He barely slept the night before…

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Karama: Honor & Dignity

On Saturday, I hosted the first of, what I hope will be, many live events. 23 ladies gathered together and shared dinner, stories, and really soft leggings (I have a significant LuLaRoe obsession, so we had a chance to do some shopping). It was such an honor to spend the evening with women who want…

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You Lost Your Expectations: Now What?

At nap time yesterday, Caleb’s precious Bear could not be found. If you know Caleb, you know that Bear is considered part of the family. They’ve been best buddies since Caleb was 18 days old. Over the course of the afternoon and evening, we tore the house apart, looking for the brown, fuzzy, friend and…

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Dear God: Are You Still Good?

Dear God: It’s been a rough few years for you and me. You’ve allowed things to happen in my life that hurt. My heart has been broken and me dreams have been dashed. Not long after Keith died, I wrote that, “my heart feels a lot like my kindergarten knees.” And it seems like every…

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