Door #6 and Why I’m Sick of Doubting Myself
Someone posted this photo of 10 doors on social media yesterday. I was curious, so I picked door #6 and could not believe how accurately it described how I feel about myself right now.
Yikes. “…the inside of your home or car is a total mess!” Um…how about the inside of my head?! Lately, I’ve felt as if there is always more to be done. How on earth do some women keep their house clean? I can’t seem to ever get the dishwasher emptied and forget about the laundry or making the bed. And I only have one kid!
It’s times like these when it’s so easy to look at other moms and compare myself. I know in the logical part of my brain that there’s no comparison; what I see is never the whole story, but it’s just so tempting. Caleb only just started walking at 15 months (if one more person calls him a ‘late walker’ I’m gonna lose my mind), I still can’t figure out how to get simple house chores done on a daily basis, and forget about ever making a dent in my to do list. Some days I feel like I really should just eat bon bons and watch soap operas: at least I’ll be able to say I accomplished something.
And then I remember that I am accomplishing things that can not be measured objectively or be crossed off on a list. This morning I rocked Caleb in a dark room because he needed some snuggles. My boy loves snuggles, so taking the time to hold him builds my relationship with him. I want my boy to trust me and know he is loved more than I want all the dishes to be clean all the time. Other days I put aside my tasks to catch up with a friend. The vacuum may feel a bit abandoned, but both my friend and I will feel a little less overwhelmed and ready to conquer the rest of the day.
So this morning, I am writing to encourage myself and encourage you. If you are doing your best to accomplish those really important goals, the ones that change lives, keep pressing on. To the mamas out there: keep changing those diapers, cleaning those high chairs, and wrestling through bath time because you are raising important people. Those little people who dictate our days right now, will grow up to become leaders and parents and world influencers.
To those of you who are struggling through a season of self-doubt for other reasons, remind yourself of what is most important. Don’t ever wear yourself thin pursuing goals that are purely for keeping up appearances.
Regardless of what door you choose to walk through, be genuine and stick to your guns.