cancer

Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe

I disappeared this year. Not just a quiet period away from social media, but a full on disappearance from my life. I never quite made it to hang out with friends and I sat in the hallway during church, unable to engage with a sermon or much of the music. When I sat down to…

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Beginnings Are Complicated

I’ve never had a new beginning without a huge loss at the same time. My husband, Keith, had cancer the year we were engaged. My dad died eight hours after my son (the first grandkid) was born. My husband died one month before our daughter was born. For me, new beginnings are complicated. I’ll never…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/10/16]

She wandered around the house this morning with her brother’s duplos in her Cookie Monster pjs, with her crazy hair and drippy, runny nose. Keith got those pjs for Caleb for his second birthday. Keith wore Cookie Monster pjs around the hospital when Caleb was born and it became a tradition to wear their pjs together every…

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Book Review: And It Was Beautiful by Kara Tippetts

I discovered Kara Tippetts when Keith was sick. Kara lost her battle to breast cancer just over two months after Keith passed away. I was drawn to her words as she was able to describe exactly what it was like to be facing death while trying to raise a family. Her blog helped me to…

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Hope for 2016

A year ago today, my life changed. When you get married, you don’t expect the “to death do us part” vows to be relevant until you’re old. The last year has been a lot of heart ache and even more change. Our family lost Keith and gained Libby. The kids and I moved. I bought…

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#RunLikeKeith Half Marathon Accomplished

It has been nearly two weeks since I finished the Navy-Air Force Half Marathon and I can’t quite seem to convince myself that it really happened. Sunday, September 20, 2015 was perfect weather for a race. The race started and ended at the base of the Washington Monument and downtown Washington D.C. was buzzing with…

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Easter is Real

I realized a week or so ago that Easter is exactly three months from when Keith passed away and it made me realize the huge emotional journey I’ve been on. Being a caregiver during the serious illness of a loved one is overwhelming. During Keith’s latest battle with cancer, life often felt like we were…

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Dear Keith: 33

Dear Keith, It’s a blessing and a curse that the first of your birthdays that we celebrate without you has come so quickly. You haven’t been in heaven a week and we are already faced with a milestone day. As I’ve learned in grieving the loss of my dad, the anticipation of the day is…

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Bird Sanctuary

At the south end of Long Beach Island, NJ there used to be a huge bird sanctuary. It was at least a mile of untouched beach, populated solely by birds. It was the quietest part of the island and a place of refuge for me. Hurricane Sandy wrecked the bird sanctuary. There’s still some beach…

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Dear Dad: Another Birthday

Dear Dad, I’ve been hesitating (maybe avoiding) writing you. Over the last two weeks, I’ve had more days than not where I wake up missing you. Or find myself looking forward to going to Connecticut to see you. It’s bizarre that my brain just can not accept that you’re really not here even though it’s…

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