real life

What You Need to Know About Burnout From a Single Parent

When I was in graduate school, I remember constantly hearing the burnout statistics for teachers. I don’t remember what they were then, but they weren’t good. Most people entering the profession weren’t staying longer than three years. I was determined to do better. And then I found myself resigning after two years; teaching for a…

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Good Things Are Scary; Disappointment is Comfortable

I have a very serious fear of good things happening to me. You laugh, but I’m dead serious. I have a few really big dreams that feel completely impossible and I have no idea how (or if) they’ll ever work out. And so when some of these dreams started inching forward last week, I had…

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Beginnings Are Complicated

I’ve never had a new beginning without a huge loss at the same time. My husband, Keith, had cancer the year we were engaged. My dad died eight hours after my son (the first grandkid) was born. My husband died one month before our daughter was born. For me, new beginnings are complicated. I’ll never…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/26/16]

Caleb loves the fact that my lovey from childhood is a bear. He’s always wanting to snuggle on the couch with our bears and one night he insisted I take mine to bed with me. I did it begrudgingly and was pleasantly surprised at how comforting it was to sleep with my first friend. I often…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/29/16]

We celebrated Caleb’s birthday with a small group of friends and family. Usually, we make a big deal about birthdays, but I was overwhelmed by grief and never got around to doing any kind of decorating. Even though Caleb usually badgers me until we decorate, he graciously forgot and had a wonderful evening. I was…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/28/16]

It was a terrible day. The kind of day that wants to make you avoid days and people and responsibilities for a month or forever. I didn’t feel well. The grief was overwhelming. The kids were not compliant and whining is my nemesis. I let a few friends know that I was struggling and one…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/24/16]

I’ve been thinking about seasons a lot lately. Just like the seasons visibly change the landscape, they change me, too. The leave change colors, fall, and the natural world rests for winter, only to wake up and start over in spring. In my hardest seasons, I’ve felt dormant: my own personal, emotional hibernation. I’ve been…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/27/16]

The first snow! It was a bit strange seeing snow and fall foliage at the same time, but I was so excited. I’ve never been one to get excited for snow, but I’ve noticed that since Keith died, I start bouncing off the walls. I think he left me with a bit of his obsessive snow…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/31/16]

Halloween. An exciting day for the kids, but a hard day for me. Dad died four years ago. It’s hard to wrap my mind around that reality. I really struggled this year, missing him in so many ways. He would’ve been best buddies with Caleb and I don’t think he would’ve ever stopped laughing at…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/30/16]

On each of his birthdays, I’ve taped streamers over his door. It’s so fun to start his special day with such joy and delight. These are the moments I hope to remember. Birthdays are the hardest grief days for me, but I want to remember their childhood with visions of all these wonderful moments of…

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