young widow

10 Ways To Prepare For The Next Hard Thing

At this point in my life I have experienced more loss and hardship than most. And I’ve learned to accept that there will still be hard things to come. Sometimes people tell me I’ve had more than my fair share of suffering.  Maybe that’s true, but it’s not comforting. Because there isn’t a suffering quotient….

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For When Grief Hits You From Out of Nowhere

It’s been almost four years since my husband died. I’m mostly doing great. I still get sad sometimes. Other times I’m disappointed or angry that this is my real life. But, on the whole, life is good. We’ve found new routines and ways of doing things. We feel settled. I skirt the edge of grieving,…

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Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe

I disappeared this year. Not just a quiet period away from social media, but a full on disappearance from my life. I never quite made it to hang out with friends and I sat in the hallway during church, unable to engage with a sermon or much of the music. When I sat down to…

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Why You Never Leave Your Grieving Friend Alone

Why You Never Leave Your Grieving Friend Alone | BeckyLMcCoy.com

“You’ve got so much going on. I didn’t want to burden you with my hard stuff.” “I didn’t want to make you more sad. I try and only share stuff that will cheer you up.” “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I hate to bother you.” I’ve heard dozens of versions of those…

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When You Feel Broken At Christmas

When You Feel Broken At Christmas | BeckyLMcCoy.com

Everywhere I look, there are signs of a shiny, bright, perfect Christmas. Smiling family photos. Perfectly decorated homes and trees. Happy people enjoying happy friends at happy Christmas parties. Christmas movies that elicit giggles and end in magical first kisses. Cookies and hot cocoa and fires and snow (or at least dreams of it). Sometimes…

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The Worst Part of Being a Single Mom is the Exhaustion

Being a single mom never gets easier. I’ve got my ways of coping – preschool and playdates help this introverted mama recharge and stay on top of the to do list – but there isn’t much wiggle room for when the schedule gets turned upside down. Last week, there was a snow day. I knew…

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When You Feel Stuck on the Outside of Your Life

A reality of grief and depression is that you often feel stuck outside of your life. Last week, I had a few days where I felt like I was watching my life and not living it. I took deep breaths, trying to ground myself, feeling like I was floating away with nothing to pull me…

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My Brave 2017 | Becky L McCoy

I have no expectations for 2017. I’m working on several projects and I’ve got a few dreams, but I’m not expecting any specific outcomes because, honestly, I have no control over the end results. I did pick one word for the year, but it’s more of a mindset shift than a tangible goal. Even as…

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2017: The Year of No Expectations

My new year doesn’t start on January 1st, but several days later on January 5th. On January 5th, my life changed forever and it seems easier to mark the passing years and measure the change that has happened based on the day my husband died, rather than when the calendar flips. I find myself stuck…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/29/16]

We celebrated Caleb’s birthday with a small group of friends and family. Usually, we make a big deal about birthdays, but I was overwhelmed by grief and never got around to doing any kind of decorating. Even though Caleb usually badgers me until we decorate, he graciously forgot and had a wonderful evening. I was…

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