Posts

You Can’t Be Awesome at Everything

For most of my life, I would’ve proudly called myself a perfectionist. Doing things well and with precision is important to me. But over the years I’ve realized that the ‘perfectionist’ label is one of the most unhealthy stories I’ve told myself. You know what really bugs me? When people *brag* about being perfectionists. If…

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It’s Just Data

It was my junior or senior year of college and I remember the teary, frustrated call to my mom, “why are people so difficult? Why can’t they be predictable like equations?” Fun fact: if you didn’t know, I was a physics major in college. I laugh now, but I also have some of the same…

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Vulnerability Hangover

Sometimes when we share the innermost parts of ourselves we leave the encounter feeling like we’ve been stripped bare, sometimes even flayed on the altar of vulnerability. It can even feel like a hangover – like you can’t face the world and your whole self is now too tender to even try.  Brené Brown –…

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On loneliness and belonging

When I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression I was in my mid-20s and I didn’t know anyone else who experienced mental health issues. I felt misunderstood and incredibly alone. A year or so later a friend had a few panic attacks and – while I hated that she was going through this –…

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What to do with your weakness

When it comes to friendship, there’s some kind of unspoken fear that we have to have it all together or our friends won’t want to be our friends anymore. Do you find yourself worrying that if your friends could see your *insert weakness, fault, or fear here* they’d go running? What if friendship was less…

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Why You Need Friends

I had an interesting conversation about friendship years ago. We had just moved to a new duty station and I was concerned that my husband wasn’t putting in any effort to find new friends. He looked at me, confused, “I already have friends.”  “But you don’t have friends, here.” He was someone who only needed…

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Finding Friends Who Aren’t Afraid of Your Mess

My family moved to a new town a couple nights before starting high school. I knew no one and spent the majority of my 9th grade year eating lunch alone. I’ve never been someone that’s been able to make myself fit in so it was really challenging to find the people I vibed with. No…

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You Believe What You Do

I was a very litigious adolescent. I mean, I wasn’t literally bringing court cases as a 12 year old, but I saw injustice everywhere. This happened to be in the late 90s and early 00s when “hypocrisy” was a regular topic of conversation and “hypocrite” a label to be avoided. The buzzword was used to…

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The Sacred Practice of Saying ‘No’

Last week I wrote about integrity and I felt like I left something out: being a person of integrity isn’t just about what you do. It’s also about what you don’t do.  I’ve had a few conversations lately with people who feel like their friends only show up when they need something. They’re dissatisfied with…

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Being Honest About Your Weaknesses (Even When It Hurts)

Have you ever worried what would happen if you had to be honest about your imperfections? Do you feel like life is sometimes a Jenga tower, balanced on some of your strengths with each weakness only precariously holding up the blocks above them? Do you acknowledge your weaknesses or do you prefer to pretend like…

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