Grief

Beginnings Are Complicated

I’ve never had a new beginning without a huge loss at the same time. My husband, Keith, had cancer the year we were engaged. My dad died eight hours after my son (the first grandkid) was born. My husband died one month before our daughter was born. For me, new beginnings are complicated. I’ll never…

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Why You Never Leave Your Grieving Friend Alone

“You’ve got so much going on. I didn’t want to burden you with my hard stuff.” “I didn’t want to make you more sad. I try and only share stuff that will cheer you up.” “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I hate to bother you.” I’ve heard dozens of versions of those…

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When You Feel Broken At Christmas

Everywhere I look, there are signs of a shiny, bright, perfect Christmas. Smiling family photos. Perfectly decorated homes and trees. Happy people enjoying happy friends at happy Christmas parties. Christmas movies that elicit giggles and end in magical first kisses. Cookies and hot cocoa and fires and snow (or at least dreams of it). Sometimes…

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The Worst Part of Being a Single Mom is the Exhaustion

Being a single mom never gets easier. I’ve got my ways of coping – preschool and playdates help this introverted mama recharge and stay on top of the to do list – but there isn’t much wiggle room for when the schedule gets turned upside down. Last week, there was a snow day. I knew…

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When You Feel Stuck on the Outside of Your Life

A reality of grief and depression is that you often feel stuck outside of your life. Last week, I had a few days where I felt like I was watching my life and not living it. I took deep breaths, trying to ground myself, feeling like I was floating away with nothing to pull me…

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When You Crave an Adventure and Discover Healing and Rest

When Keith and I lived in Las Vegas, he was in a Family Medicine residency program and I was teaching. Our stress levels were unreal (if you’ve listened to the podcast, you know this is when my anxiety disorder was diagnosed. LISTEN HERE). A mentor of Keith’s advised us to take regular weekend trips away;…

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What To Do When You Feel Lost As An Adult

When I was little, my parents and I went to Sesame Place, the Sesame Street theme park. My parents sat on a bench and watched as I played on one of the splash pad play grounds. Every few minutes, I would glance over to make sure they were still there. And they were. Until they…

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2017: The Year of No Expectations

My new year doesn’t start on January 1st, but several days later on January 5th. On January 5th, my life changed forever and it seems easier to mark the passing years and measure the change that has happened based on the day my husband died, rather than when the calendar flips. I find myself stuck…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/31/16]

Halloween. An exciting day for the kids, but a hard day for me. Dad died four years ago. It’s hard to wrap my mind around that reality. I really struggled this year, missing him in so many ways. He would’ve been best buddies with Caleb and I don’t think he would’ve ever stopped laughing at…

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31 Days of Real Life [10/15/16]

This boy was my first little buddy. He came into the world during an incredibly difficult season. My dad was dying while I was in labor and eight hours after he entered my life, my dad left it. I didn’t grieve well. I thought I had it all under control, but really I was avoiding…

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