sadness

For When Grief Hits You From Out of Nowhere

It’s been almost four years since my husband died. I’m mostly doing great. I still get sad sometimes. Other times I’m disappointed or angry that this is my real life. But, on the whole, life is good. We’ve found new routines and ways of doing things. We feel settled. I skirt the edge of grieving,…

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Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe

I disappeared this year. Not just a quiet period away from social media, but a full on disappearance from my life. I never quite made it to hang out with friends and I sat in the hallway during church, unable to engage with a sermon or much of the music. When I sat down to…

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2017: The Year of No Expectations

My new year doesn’t start on January 1st, but several days later on January 5th. On January 5th, my life changed forever and it seems easier to mark the passing years and measure the change that has happened based on the day my husband died, rather than when the calendar flips. I find myself stuck…

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For When The Grief Sneaks Up On You

Dear Broken Heart: Grief is so sneaky, isn’t it? Just when I think I’ve got it all figure out, it figures out a new way to catch me off guard. Or uses an old way that I thought wasn’t effective any more. Last week, Caleb started three day preschool. He barely slept the night before…

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The First Three Months (on grief and surviving)

Easter Sunday will mark three months without Keith. My head feels like it is spinning when I remember he is really gone. These last three months have flown by but also feel like it’s been years since I last sat with Keith in the hospital. I miss his friendship. Caleb does so many quirky, loveable,…

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Truths About Grief

Offers to help are still flooding in. Quite often, after a loved one’s death, a few weeks later, it seems as if everyone else has moved on. I’m so thankful for those of you who continue to be in touch and tell me how you are praying for us and sharing your favorite memories of…

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Dear Keith: 33

Dear Keith, It’s a blessing and a curse that the first of your birthdays that we celebrate without you has come so quickly. You haven’t been in heaven a week and we are already faced with a milestone day. As I’ve learned in grieving the loss of my dad, the anticipation of the day is…

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Dear Dad: I Miss You

NOTE: This post is kind of erratic. I wrote it a few days ago and have been feeling pretty anal about it not flowing as well as I’d like it to. Yet, this is how it came out of my head and I’m all about sharing my experience authentically. So, here’s the most disorganized post…

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Momma’s Sorry

Today has been a rough day for the little monkey and his momma. We woke up and had a pretty routine morning: feeding, snuggles, baby massage, reading a book (he’s a huge Eric Carle fan), and nap time. When he fell asleep, I headed downstairs to eat breakfast, work on some projects, and wrap some…

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