widow

For When Grief Hits You From Out of Nowhere

It’s been almost four years since my husband died. I’m mostly doing great. I still get sad sometimes. Other times I’m disappointed or angry that this is my real life. But, on the whole, life is good. We’ve found new routines and ways of doing things. We feel settled. I skirt the edge of grieving,…

Continue Reading

Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe

I disappeared this year. Not just a quiet period away from social media, but a full on disappearance from my life. I never quite made it to hang out with friends and I sat in the hallway during church, unable to engage with a sermon or much of the music. When I sat down to…

Continue Reading

Beginnings Are Complicated

I’ve never had a new beginning without a huge loss at the same time. My husband, Keith, had cancer the year we were engaged. My dad died eight hours after my son (the first grandkid) was born. My husband died one month before our daughter was born. For me, new beginnings are complicated. I’ll never…

Continue Reading

Why You Never Leave Your Grieving Friend Alone

Why You Never Leave Your Grieving Friend Alone | BeckyLMcCoy.com

“You’ve got so much going on. I didn’t want to burden you with my hard stuff.” “I didn’t want to make you more sad. I try and only share stuff that will cheer you up.” “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I hate to bother you.” I’ve heard dozens of versions of those…

Continue Reading

When You Feel Broken At Christmas

When You Feel Broken At Christmas | BeckyLMcCoy.com

Everywhere I look, there are signs of a shiny, bright, perfect Christmas. Smiling family photos. Perfectly decorated homes and trees. Happy people enjoying happy friends at happy Christmas parties. Christmas movies that elicit giggles and end in magical first kisses. Cookies and hot cocoa and fires and snow (or at least dreams of it). Sometimes…

Continue Reading

9 Tips for a Quiet and Simple Holiday Season

Each Christmas season is an exceptional one. It’s another Christmas without Keith. Caleb is always so excited for this season: he runs around wearing his Santa hat and I often find him sitting and staring at the Christmas tree. Libby adores Santa and all of the silly Christmas movies (although, she’s quite offended the Grinch would steal…

Continue Reading

The Worst Part of Being a Single Mom is the Exhaustion

Being a single mom never gets easier. I’ve got my ways of coping – preschool and playdates help this introverted mama recharge and stay on top of the to do list – but there isn’t much wiggle room for when the schedule gets turned upside down. Last week, there was a snow day. I knew…

Continue Reading

When You Feel Stuck on the Outside of Your Life

A reality of grief and depression is that you often feel stuck outside of your life. Last week, I had a few days where I felt like I was watching my life and not living it. I took deep breaths, trying to ground myself, feeling like I was floating away with nothing to pull me…

Continue Reading

The Weary World Rejoices: Hope When Christmas is Hard

“…the weary world rejoices…” I recently heard author Paul Tripp call Christmas “the sufferers holiday.” Joseph and Mary were without a home. Herod was about to order the execution of all boys under two years old. The Jewish people were under Roman occupation. The first Christmas did not happen during an easy or happy time….

Continue Reading

Widowhood is Lonely (and a Plea For Single Parents)

I read this post today and wanted to jump up and down, shouting to the world that somebody put my feelings into words. The author, a single mom to a preschooler, expresses the paradox of single parenting: everyone knows it takes a village to parent, but not many people are willing to step out of…

Continue Reading