grief
For When You Start to Dream Again
I woke up January 1, 2016 – almost exactly one year after my husband died – thinking about the word ‘hope.’ What did it mean to hope when everything about life had already gone topsy turvy? I had already seen how hopes could get smashed, ground to a pulp, and dumped off a cliff –…
For When You Bring Your Grief Into The New Year
In 2014, my husband was admitted to the hospital on New Year’s Eve. He’d recently been diagnosed with an untreatable, incurable type of cancer, but we thought we would have more than a couple months left. Initially, they just wanted to keep him for observation for a day or two, but he died on January…
20 of my Favorite Books on Grief
I wish I could have a cozy little library with big comfy chairs, a crackling fire place, and all the hot cocoa, tea, and coffee a person could want. The library would be filled with books on grief: books to learn about grief and stories that help you feel less alone. Since that’s not reality,…
4 Mantras For When I’m Overwhelmed
If life is really hard for you right now, I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a giant hug. Since I can’t, I wrote down my 4 Mantras For When I’m Overwhelmed; you can print it out and hang it where you’ll see it often so you can be reminded that…
10 Ways To Prepare For The Next Hard Thing
At this point in my life I have experienced more loss and hardship than most. And I’ve learned to accept that there will still be hard things to come. Sometimes people tell me I’ve had more than my fair share of suffering. Maybe that’s true, but it’s not comforting. Because there isn’t a suffering quotient….
Brave is a Choice
I’m not exaggerating when I say my life feels more like a Lifetime movie than reality. My dad died eight hours after giving birth to my first kid. My husband battled one kind of cancer the year we were engaged and died from another kind a month before our kid number two was born. I…
For When Grief Hits You From Out of Nowhere
It’s been almost four years since my husband died. I’m mostly doing great. I still get sad sometimes. Other times I’m disappointed or angry that this is my real life. But, on the whole, life is good. We’ve found new routines and ways of doing things. We feel settled. I skirt the edge of grieving,…
Good Things Are Scary; Disappointment is Comfortable
I have a very serious fear of good things happening to me. You laugh, but I’m dead serious. I have a few really big dreams that feel completely impossible and I have no idea how (or if) they’ll ever work out. And so when some of these dreams started inching forward last week, I had…
Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe
I disappeared this year. Not just a quiet period away from social media, but a full on disappearance from my life. I never quite made it to hang out with friends and I sat in the hallway during church, unable to engage with a sermon or much of the music. When I sat down to…
Beginnings Are Complicated
I’ve never had a new beginning without a huge loss at the same time. My husband, Keith, had cancer the year we were engaged. My dad died eight hours after my son (the first grandkid) was born. My husband died one month before our daughter was born. For me, new beginnings are complicated. I’ll never…
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